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Choosing a Good Wife Beyond Beauty and Superficiality

The purpose of this writing is to guide men in choosing a good wife. In today’s society, much emphasis is placed on physical appearance and superficial attributes. Often, the inner qualities and mentality of a person are overlooked. If someone is attractive and has a desirable physique, they are often given undue advantage, especially in the context of men selecting a wife. However, this should not be the case. It's time for men to understand that a good wife is defined by more than just her looks. Men are often driven by physical attraction when choosing a partner, which can lead to poor decisions. It is crucial not to be so captivated by a woman's beauty that you overlook red flags that could jeopardize a marriage. As Sirach 25:21 warns, “Stumble not at the beauty of a woman, and desire her not for pleasure.” This is because many have been deceived by beauty alone (Sirach 9:8). Alpha K Brand aims to provide guidance in this regard.


Before identifying the qualities of a good wife, it is important to remind men that one of the greatest blessings in life, from a natural perspective, is a wife. The significance of a good wife is so profound that the Most High Yahuah (God) took the time to create a wife for Adam to ensure he was not alone and had a helpmeet (Genesis 2:18). The value of a good wife is further emphasized by the Prophet Sirach, who said, “Blessed is the man that hath a virtuous wife, for the number of his days shall be double” (Sirach 26:1). A good wife can prolong a man's life and bring him joy and happiness amid trials and challenges. She has the power to strengthen his weakened hands and steady his knees with words of encouragement, helping him face uncertainty and overcome obstacles.


This is the type of woman that men should seek to build a life with, for her worth goes far beyond physical beauty or sexual appeal. Her ability to be a virtuous wife plays a key role in helping her husband reach his fullest potential. It is no wonder Yahuah called her a helpmeet; she was created to help a man seek Yahuah with all his might and fully walk in his purpose. If the woman you are currently involved with does not add positively to your life in this way, she may be counterproductive to your well-being. Therefore, it is essential to look for the following traits when choosing a wife.


I. A Good Wife is Caring


A caring wife demonstrates genuine concern for you as a person, not just for your status or finances. When a woman truly cares about you, her interest extends beyond what you can provide materially. Unfortunately, many men have been deceived by a woman's beauty, failing to recognize when their partner is more interested in their wealth or social standing than in them as individuals. These women focus on how they are made to feel, rather than truly caring for the man himself.


A woman who genuinely cares about you will not burden you with unnecessary demands, recognizing that stress can be harmful and even shorten your life. She avoids being a source of that stress by showing that she values you for who you are, not just for what you can offer. She will reassure you that you don't need to overexert yourself to fulfill her desires. For example, instead of insisting on dining at a five-star restaurant, she might suggest going to a more modest place like Shake Shack to save money. Her priority is spending quality time together, not indulging in unnecessary luxuries.

When a woman truly cares, like my wife, she might say, “Baby, I’m happy with the simple things in life, like holding hands and spending time together. You don’t have to worry about all the other stuff. Yahuah will make it happen. Keep focusing on building an empire and doing the will of Yahuah.” This is the kind of woman who values you for who you are, not just for what you can do.


II. A Good Wife is Considerate


While caring involves showing affection and concern for you, being considerate means prioritizing your feelings and taking them into account in her actions. Many modern women adopt a mindset that emphasizes doing whatever they want without considering the consequences. They often assert their independence with phrases like, "I'm grown; you don't control me." Such women pride themselves on being strong-willed and self-centered, often neglecting their partner's feelings. They expect their men to be considerate of their emotions but are unwilling to reciprocate. This kind of woman should be avoided, as she can lead to unhealthy dynamics and potentially dangerous situations.


A good wife, on the other hand, is mindful of how her actions affect you. She understands that, despite your strength and masculinity, you still have feelings that deserve respect and consideration. This is evident in the way she shows deference to your thoughts, opinions, and perspectives. For instance, before going out, she might ask, "Baby, is this okay to wear?" This simple question reflects her consideration of your feelings; she prioritizes your opinions, even though she has the freedom to make her own choices.


The reason she is considerate of your feelings is that she values her reputation and wants to represent you in a way that aligns with your values and emotions. Her actions show that she is serious about maintaining a relationship that respects both her independence and your partnership, ensuring that both of you feel valued and understood.


III. A Good Wife is a Contributor


A good wife is not just a receiver; she actively contributes to the relationship. She doesn’t simply take without giving back but willingly plays her part as a helpmeet. This quality distinguishes ordinary women from truly good women. Many women are content to sit back and take from a man's life without adding any value, becoming more of a liability than an asset. However, a woman who is a contributor understands the importance of being an active participant in the partnership.


Solomon’s mother imparted wisdom to him about what makes a good wife, highlighting the importance of being a contributor. She described the virtuous wife, saying, "She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands" (Proverbs 31:13). The entire chapter details the ways in which she adds value to her husband’s life. She takes care of the household, ensuring that there is food (Proverbs 31:15). She is business-minded and industrious, helping to build their empire by purchasing lands and planting vineyards (Proverbs 31:16). She even creates a clothing line, not only providing for her family but also generating profit from her work (Proverbs 31:18-22, 24). Additionally, she engages in administrative tasks to ensure her husband is well-respected and known in the gates of the city (Proverbs 31:23).


She is a hard worker, as it is written: "She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness" (Proverbs 31:27). This shows that she is always seeking ways to increase and improve the household. A wife like this will frequently offer her assistance, asking, "Baby, do you need help with anything? What can I do?"

 

A good wife’s contributions go beyond the physical; they encompass emotional and intellectual support, helping to build a stronger, more resilient partnership. By being a contributor, she ensures that the relationship is balanced, productive, and fulfilling for both partners.


IV. A Good Wife is Constructive


A good wife focuses on being constructive rather than destructive. Proverbs 14:1 says, "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." A woman who seeks to build you up, rather than tear you down, is the kind of partner you need. She is someone who will not foolishly destroy you with her words. When no one else is in your corner, she is there, encouraging you with her words and actions.


The wisdom of Sirach echoes this sentiment: "As the climbing up a sandy way is to the feet of the aged, so is a wife full of words to a quiet man" (Sirach 25:20). He further warns, "A wicked woman abateth the courage, maketh a heavy countenance and a wounded heart: a woman that will not comfort her husband in distress maketh weak hands and feeble knees" (Sirach 25:23). In the following chapter, he adds, "A silent and loving woman is a gift of the Lord; and there is nothing so much worth as a mind well instructed" (Sirach 26:15).


These scriptures underscore that a good wife is inherently constructive. She knows how to build up her husband with her words and actions. If she doesn't have anything positive or helpful to say, she exercises restraint and keeps silent. A good wife is mindful of her influence, understanding that her words and behavior can either uplift her husband or cause harm. By choosing to be constructive, she plays a vital role in fostering a strong, supportive, and nurturing relationship.


To sum things up, the qualities of a good wife go far beyond physical beauty and superficial attributes. While outward appearances may initially attract, it is the inner qualities—care, consideration, contribution, and constructiveness—that truly define a wife of virtue and value. A good wife is a partner who not only shares in the joys of life but also helps to bear the burdens, offering support, encouragement, and love. She prioritizes the well-being of her husband, not just by caring for him, but by being mindful of his feelings, contributing to the relationship in meaningful ways, and focusing on building up rather than tearing down.


In seeking a wife, men should look for these enduring qualities, for they are the foundation of a strong, healthy, and lasting marriage. A good wife is not just a companion for life but a true helpmeet, designed by the Most High Yahuah to aid a man in fulfilling his purpose and walking in righteousness. Her worth is far above rubies, and her presence is a blessing that brings joy, stability, and peace. By choosing wisely, a man can find a partner who will enrich his life and help him grow in all aspects, both spiritually and materially. Therefore, let these guiding principles be a compass for men in their journey to find a good wife, ensuring that the union they form is one that reflects the divine design and purpose of marriage.

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