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From Boss Lady to Wife: Navigating Feminism and Family in the Black Community

Feminism has achieved great things for women in the 21st century, and it's important to recognize and appreciate these advancements. It has played a major role in women gaining certain rights and opportunities, such as increased access to education, the right to vote, protection against discrimination, and the ability to make personal decisions on various issues. However, there is also a downside to feminism. Whether women acknowledge it or not, a cost has come with these advancements. Women have paid a price, and they may not know how to address or undo these consequences.


By subscribing to feminism, women have sacrificed their traditional roles and paid the price by witnessing many men adopt the MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) movement. Instead of addressing issues collectively, feminism has often fueled the fire of gender wars. Today's society experiences an unprecedented level of conflict between genders, which has contributed to the breakdown of many homes and left society fragmented and devastated. Feminism, rather than strengthening the principles of femininity within women, has often pushed women to compete with men instead of complementing them. This shift has led to unintended consequences, straining relationships and family structures.


This wave of competing with men under the disguise of feminism has pushed many women to prioritize being a “boss lady” over being a wife and mother. They fail to realize that a woman can be all three, but feminism often emphasizes the “boss lady” role over everything. This has led to a significant breakdown in relationships, thrusting society to the brink of collapse and causing moral decay within the family structure. Families and relationships are now out of balance, struggling for survival and progress. Unfortunately, this is particularly evident in the so-called Black community, where the negative impacts are magnified.


Unlike other nationalities, Black women have distanced themselves from the true aspects of being a wife, even though they say this is what they want. To be fair, this is not entirely their fault. In fact, a significant part of the responsibility falls heavily on the so-called Black man. For various reasons, Black men have given in to societal norms of emasculation and failed to be the men that the Most High Yahuah (God) called them to be.


In the face of opposition, they have often succumbed to numerous obstacles, such as racism, segregation, biases, hatred, lack of education, prejudice, the friend of the court, child support, and more. It was easier for them to give up and roll over than to fight for what they believed in and what was rightfully theirs. This dynamic has created a complex interplay where both Black men and women struggle to fulfill their traditional roles within a society that often undermines their efforts.


Consequently, this led women to go into survival mode. Women are natural survivalists; they will do what is necessary to thrive. In their view, feminism has provided them with the empowerment they needed to survive. Trapped in this mindset, it's difficult for them to let go of their perceived independence, especially because they feel that many Black men have not fulfilled their roles adequately.


Having achieved certain societal status and success, they are reluctant to accept men who could potentially alleviate their burdens because their "boss lady" mentality holds them captive on top of their past previous experiences with incapable black men.

They often see settling as accepting an average Black man as their husband. Despite knowing that high-value Black men are scarce, they continue to pursue this ideal while disregarding men who are genuinely husband material. The obsession with being a "boss lady" has blinded them to the true essence of being a help-meet.


If they truly desired to be wives and embraced their role as help-meet, they would not overlook a man who may earn $50,000 to $70,000 annually, a man they could build a loving home with.


To assist women who may overly indulge in feminism and adopt a "boss lady" attitude, this article will explore key concepts to empower them to embrace their role as wives without losing their identity in today's world. Let's delve into these essential elements: support, sacrifices, and the sacredness of being a wife.


Embracing the Supportive Role of a Wife


There is nothing inherently wrong with being a boss lady, but problems arise from the attitudes that often accompany this title. Many so-called Black women who claim to be ‘boss ladies’ believe they are superior to Black men and feel compelled to compete with them. This mindset only aggravates Black men and undermines the family structure. It's no coincidence that the divorce rate among Blacks is the highest among all races. Both parties are too focused on competing and fighting each other instead of collaborating in their rightful roles.


The word "roles" can be contentious, particularly among Black women. Ironically, derogatory terms like "bitch" and "hoe" are widely accepted, while the concept of the word “roles” can stir resistance. Unlike other communities, Black women must rediscover and embrace the significance of roles. For any relationship or marriage to flourish, each person must fulfill their part. In her role, she must understand the importance of standing by her Black man as a supporter, not an adversary. While she may embody a “boss lady” persona in certain contexts, she must set this aside when nurturing relationships and marriages. Otherwise, constant conflict may lead to breakdowns.


The Black man has long voiced his need for support from his partner, not competition or conflict. It's time to listen to his heartfelt plea.


Embracing the Sacrificial Role of a Wife


Many Black men observe women of other races achieving balance in their relationships and marriages, yet they witness their own women hesitating to do the same. Women of other nationalities willingly make sacrifices to maintain their marriages and achieve harmony with their partners. Meanwhile, some Black women argue that sacrificing their “boss lady” status is too great a cost, unlike their counterparts who seamlessly balance careers, businesses, parenting, and marital roles.


It appears that Black women often question whether they can effectively juggle being a “boss lady” and a wife simultaneously. Instead of making the necessary sacrifices for marital harmony, they sometimes perceive that they must sacrifice their husbands to maintain their perceived status in the limelight. They believe that balancing roles as a boss lady, wife, and mother is incompatible and that maintaining their career, business, and status requires sacrificing something — often their relationship with their Black man.

 

Sadly, this perception can lead to sacrificing the relationship itself because they feel unable to fulfill the role of wife in a way that supports their partner's needs while maintaining their professional ambitions.


Embracing the Sacred Role of a Wife


The position of a wife finds its origins in the Holy Scriptures; marriage is a biblical institution, not merely a fulfillment of female fantasies influenced by modern feminism. It is a sacred covenant that must be revered as such. Unfortunately, many Black women no longer see marriage as sacred, viewing it as a mere accomplishment or status symbol rather than a divine institution. Influenced by media and television, they often prioritize the spectacle of the wedding over the sacred commitment of being a true wife.


It is imperative that Black women reclaim the sacredness of marriage. Marriage should not be approached casually, but with reverence for the principles ordained by Yahuah (God). Yahuah (God) himself ordained marriage, and therefore, Black women must understand that supporting and submitting to their husbands is not merely a social expectation, but a divine commandment. They must recognize that Yahuah expects the sacred role of a wife to be honored and upheld. If she refuses to adhere to these principles, she should reconsider entering into marriage.


Ultimately, prioritizing everything else over fulfilling the role of a wife will come at a cost. In the eyes of Yahuah (God), achieving “boss lady” status will hold no significance on judgment day if it was not pursued in alignment with the sacred responsibilities of being a wife to her husband. Such pursuits would ultimately be in vain.

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